My alma mater, Western Michigan University, participates with Experience to help students and graduates find jobs. In an ideal world, this would mean good employment opportunities are being delivered to your inbox every day, but this is far from an ideal world.

When I set up my account, I specified that they should let me know about any science or English teaching opportunities within 150 miles of my home, which is minutes away from Kalamazoo, Michigan. I get very few emails about those jobs, but every three weeks I get an email like this one:

The last time I checked, I didn’t live anywhere near South Korea. However, this is a seismically active planet, and things may have moved around a little while I wasn’t paying attention (hard to believe, but it happens), so I checked Google Maps for driving directions to South Korea:

Well, okay then, Google.

Next, I got directions from Kalamazoo to Tokyo, Japan. I figured that if I could at least get to Tokyo, then I could just walk to Korea. After all, it’s only about two inches away on the map, right? This is what Google told me:

That’s progress. It’s also the best excuse for being late to work I’ve ever heard:

“Sorry for being late, boss, but I got up late and had to kayak across the Pacific Ocean.”

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