Just some things to get you through your weeks…


For all the people who don’t understand what a global pandemic is:

For all the people who don’t realize that the corona virus doesn’t read the Financial Times or the Wall Street Journal:

When you finally google the definition of “socialism”


When you criticize people trying to emigrate to your country for basic supplies, and you’re all like…

When you finally realize just how middle class you actually are:

When you’ve actually been doing “stay at home” the right way:

When you’ve finally figured out how to solve at least one problem:

When you realize that teachers don’t make nearly enough money:

When you finally understand how capitalism works:

When you’re out of clean laundry and you need to tele-conference with your most important client and you refuse to use your building’s laundry room because it’s a hot mess at the best of times:

When you realize that your politics may have contributed to the current situation in just the teeniest-tiniest little way:

(Yeah, like that’s going to happen!)

When you’re jealous of that old VCR you threw out in 1997:

When you start to think that a face mask might be a good thing, but thanks to capitalism, they cost more than you can afford:

When you realize you may have voted for the wrong person:

When you dream, and you live in a blue state:

and also, you have a broom!

I’m done!


Also, I love you all, but please stay away from me for the foreseeable future:

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